Sonnets, a bit humorous.
Then, a Coffee Break.

IN THE CHOCOLATE SHOP, 5 JOKES.

The longest word in the English language
is ‘smiles’, because there is a mile between
the two s’s. Joke to my advantage,
as a smile on the hearer’s face is seen.

The longest railway station in London?
Well, it is Wapping. That is obvious.
Then American State, new joke begun,
round at both ends, tall in middle. Of course,

it’s Ohio. Pirate’s fav’rite letter
is not R (arrr) as some think, but it’s the C (sea).
Let’s see if I can tell one that’s better.
Painkillers in rainforest, there won’t be.

Why? Because parrots eat them all (paracetamol). Oh my,
the smiles from this sonnet just multiply.

‘SATISFACTUAL’

‘Everything is actual’, goes the song.
‘Everything is satisfactual’.
‘Satisfactory’ right, the other wrong.
Rhymes, although a little distractable.

‘Distracting’ that should be, but ‘there you go’.
‘There you go?’ Where? Into, grammatical.
Those who say ‘words matter’, well, they should know.
About language, they are fanatical.

Anyway, would not say ‘all is actual’.
Some things, could well think, are fantastical.
Fantastic, but maybe not practical
for words to be thought of as magical.

But if not, need not get irascible,
as likely will be satisfactual.

GRANNY BLOWN UP.

Dead Granny was blown up. Blown to pieces.
Her living relatives shocked to hear this.
Little regard for who the deceased is,
in experiment deadly serious.

Granny agreed to bequeath her body,
to ‘research’, likely thinking ‘medical’.
Her gesture, one of generosity.
No doubt, to a fair degree, ethical.

But her corpse used by the military,
or some other involved with explosives.
Strapped her to a chair, involuntary,
and blew her up, for whatever motives.

Was it ‘research, granny being blasted?
Feelings about? She would be long past it.

THE FLOOD.

The reservoir dam was about to burst.
Town residents told to evacuate.
Many complied, assessing ‘safety first’.
But one response did not anticipate.

“I put my trust in God. He will save me.”
The rescuers on foot left, on their own.
Then the flooding came devastatingly.
But seen in the attic room, at the home.

So the launch launched for a recovery
“I put my trust in God. He will save me.”
Left. Then rain. On the roof, next time did see.
Helicopter sent, but “ … God will save me.”

Drowned. Told God, “thought you’d save me, whilst alive”.
God replied drily, “Well, three times I tried.”.

WOMAN ON A SCOOTER.

It was incongruous. It was funny.
But neither the young couple nor I laughed,
even though it was a strange sight to see.
‘Suppose, just as easily could have gasped.

The blonde, plump, middle-aged woman speeding.
Hurtling downhill on her ‘child-like’ scooter.
Battery electric, I’ve been reading,
modern ones in the forthcoming future.

But it should have been one of the youngsters,
I thought, who would be ‘scooter skateboarding’.
Leisurely stroll, though, one or both, prefers
to high speed, like the woman recording.

New means of transport as long as stay up.
Current expectation, she did disrupt.

KEITH MILLER.

An enjoyable bit of scriptwriting
for television programme, Endeavour.
Could think of it as almost exciting;
as mental gymnastics, or whatever.

Endeavour, a young Police Inspector Morse,
on the track of a serial killer.
Killing for some reason without remorse.
A suspect’s name emerges, Keith Miller.

Someone with this name, though, does not exist
in this case, Morse concludes. Another man
using that false identity. Clue missed
that, quite simply, it is an anagram.

By the rearrangement of Keith Miller,
get to the expression, “I’m the killer”.

ALIGOT.

Said, “how to cook the perfect aligot”,
The newspaper headline I saw on-line.
Could be pronounced ‘aligo’, or may not,
I don’t know. Maybe the ‘t’s heard this time.

It’s the first time I’ve come across this word.
New addition to vocabulary.
Enthralling, although some may think absurd.
As well as how said, will check recipe.

See it’s a French mix. The ‘t’ is silent.
Like snails are escargo’, not escargot.
Garlic added to assume the accent.
Cream as well. Rural folk enjoy a lot.

At dinner, to say, may not cut a dash.
After all, it is only cheesy-mash.

COFFEE 1.

The ‘best’ is subjective. Matter of taste.
Some say Ethiopian Yirgacheffe.
Others, Blue Mountain. Jamaica, the place.
Hawaiian Kona, yet more say is best.

Kenyan AA beans and Tanzanian
Peaberry’s. Lots of those well worth tasting.
They include Brazilian, Costa Rican.
Columbian, Guatemalan. Praised, them.

Sumatra Mandheling and Toraja
Suwesi. Both are from Indonesia.
Also, Monsooned Malabar, India.
Well liked, Central American Geisha.

Some rare ones. Mention Yemen’s Matari.
So many make a great cup of coffee.

COFFEE 2.

Biblical phrase, ‘our cup runneth over’.
Well, almost. Is so, for choice of coffee.
Nicaraguan Java Cultivar,
and Rwanda Karongi Gitesi,

are Sweet Marias. That’s like a green bean.
Libericas. Robusta, most caffeine.
But it is Arabica, mostly seen
Columbian Supremo, one supreme.

There’s Australia’s shade-grown microlot.
Tre Cumbres, Macchu Piccu, from Peru.
There’s Nicaraguan Finca El Bosque
and Matagalpa. And if people knew,

Haiti’s Singing Roosters would surely flow.
Quinchia, Death Wish Blend, and Sidamo.

COFFEE GENDER.

Question; do coffee beans have a gender?
Look, I think the answer is obvious.
Although sent on their way through a grinder,
incarnate into something amorous.

After all, often said “love a coffee”.
Also, might observe, quite stimulating.
Unlike a bland, unscented cup of tea,
releases aroma in the making.

Bean has an identifiable groove,
which can gently run a finger along.
Like the plum, D.H Lawrence did approve,
In Women in Love, assumed to belong.

Looks good, smells good, tastes good, when is made up,
humble coffee bean, she’s great in the cup.

Sonnets Health-Linked
Sonnets on Death